Wednesday, January 15, 2014

This woman was really inspiring. She has been deaf the better part of her life. As most non-hearing people she spoke with a lot of difficulty, she was however able to read lips. As my first cousin is deaf i learned sign language when i was 12 and am able to maintain a conversation, so that's how we communicated. Bare with me, i'm not the best at translation but here is the interview. ( i had to film this with my camera as she spoke in sign so it took me a while sorry)  

1. What’s your name & age My name is Dana Pensek. I am 21 years old.

2. Were you raised in a religious house hold?  Yes, my parents took religion very seriously, but never forced it on my or my sisters.

3. How long have you been homeless? I don’t like labels. I’d much prefer people called me free than homeless. I do have a home. It is wherever I feel at ease.  I don’t understand how having a house is necessary.  I don’t need to have a place to feel normal.  I’ve been without a house for four years. I like it. I have a good time and I meet people.

4. Do you have any siblings or close relatives? I have three hearing sisters and one brother that I don’t talk to anymore.

5. What area do you prefer to stay in? I move so often I wouldn’t know. I sleep in any place indoors I can find but otherwise, I’m never in one area for too long. I don’t like it.

6. What is the general response you get from people regarding your appearance?  I can’t talk to people; I’m mute because of my voice. I don’t care to look at them. I don’t need people to make me feel bad about myself.

7. Are you religious?  No, I don’t have the time to be religious.

8. How did you become homeless? It’s quite a story. I don’t remember when exactly but I know that I’ve been deaf a while. I don’t ever remember speaking. I was so afraid of speaking because my voice would sound different. I wasn’t able to say things like everyone else. I hated that. I think it was when I was going into high school that my mother decided to put me into special school for people like me. What about elementary? There weren’t any programs for me there. My mom made the teachers feel sorry for me so they would let me pass everything. I learned things by reading. I never spoke until they put me into a special high school. That was the best time of my life. I learned how to talk and how to sign. I was really good at it. I spoke all the time. Yeah? Yes! I was really ambitious! But we weren’t rich. I have three sisters so it was difficult for my parents to make ends meet. They wanted to help me but they didn’t want to spend all of my sisters’ savings to do so.  My mother worked two jobs and my father as well. It was so difficult for them; they didn’t want to say so. They never learned to sign. The only one was my sister Hannah. They didn’t have the time to learn how. I couldn’t speak to them about it. When I graduated high school, I could tell that my parents were so so proud of me. I wanted to continue to college so bad, but we didn’t have the money. My brother started to hate me because my mother had to use his college money to pay for my education. I knew I was a burden to them so I decided to leave. My parents loved me very very very much, of course. Secretly, I hoped that after I left they would be looking for me. I hoped that they would get the police involved and look for me, but they didn’t. I know that they love me but I also know that they are better off now. I didn’t have anywhere to go and wouldn’t talk to anyone. Now I’m on the streets.

9. Do you visit any programs to help the homeless? If so do they help? I go to soup kitchens sometimes but I don’t like being around hearing people. I normally don’t stay anywhere long enough.  


10. Do you have any plans for the future? I wanted to be a teacher for the deaf but now, I don’t know. I think I want to be happy.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

This young man was kind of pretty great. He had a very familiar face but insisted I protected his anonymity so of course I did. He's really nice and really great. This is his story 

 1. What’s your name & age I’m Andre Catalan. But with a “C” I’m 18

2. Were you raised in a religious house hold?  No, not with my parents.  They were complete hippies. If anything I was taught about reincarnation and that kind of f*ck

3. How long have you been homeless? (laugh) whoa, sh*t. There isn’t a specific date or whatever. Um… I guess a little after the semester started.  My parents had an apartment but we’d on weekends, we’d spend the entire day in the park. That’s cool. Yeah, it really was. They’re on the street to I guess.  

4. Do you have any siblings or close relatives? I’m pretty cool with my sister. I don’t see often. She wasn’t down with the lifestyle, I guess. She’s got an apartment in Westmount.  

5. What area do you prefer to stay in? I like to hang out in Mont- Royal. The park is so awesome and I have a shed there. Also in homeless shelters… but only when the holiday hype goes down. Around Christmas and sh*t.

6. What is the general response you get from people regarding your appearance?  People often assume I’m an idiot. (laugh) I’m actually pretty smart… for the most part (laugh).  Of course I look dirty; I haven’t showered in like 2 weeks.

7. Are you religious?  No… I think religion is the sort of thing you need parents to get into. My parents didn’t know much about it.   

8. How did you become homeless?  Uh well, um... I went to a pretty okay high school, you know. There was a lot of bullying and a lot of bad things going on. But I did okay, I think. I had average, or above average grades.  But the last semester in my final year I pretty much gave up. I didn’t care about anything. I was really upset… Do you mind if I ask why? Not at all, people started to find out about my parents. As you know, they were hippies and it wasn’t a good school, so, of course I was made fun of and it wasn’t great. I didn’t get much support from my parents. They, of course would say thing like forgive them, it’ll be okay and sh*t like that. Anyway, I had to go to a sh*t cegep and it sucks because we don’t have a lot of money. My books cost like 950$ and for tuition and sh*t… we couldn’t afford it so I sold my apartment for some money.  

9. Do you visit any programs to help the homeless? If so do they help? Yeah I mean, sometimes. It really sucks because they’re not good help when you actually need it.

10. Do you have any plans for the future? Yeah actually, I’ll be living here for the next year or so. I’ll work on the side. I have a job at McDonald’s and at Couche-Tard. I’ll save money and shit until I have enough for books and school tuition. 

This women I interviewed was a drug addict. She told me not to add her admitting her addiction in the interview but wanted me to mention it. She didn't speak much, and if she did it was compulsive repetition. Anyway this is her story
 
1. What’s your name & age?
  I’m Chevron Roberts. 29.

2. Were you raised in a religious house hold?  No

3. How long have you been homeless?  6 years

4. Do you have any siblings or close relatives? If so, what is your relationship with them like? No, they hate me

5. What area do you prefer to stay in? And Why?  Pie IX. I don’t know why

6. What is the general response you get from people regarding your appearance?  Does anyone give a f*ck?

7. Are you religious? No

8. How did you become homeless?  (she mumbled things) I was trying to get clean but I can’t…

9. Do you visit any programs to help the homeless? If so do they help?  I stay here. Here’s my home.

10. Do you have any plans for the future? People want me to give them things. I don’t have anything give anymore... (she repeated this for a while)



Thursday, January 9, 2014

This is really interesting, I recognize a couple but i'm surprised they're so thorough





This guy was great. He was a little intimidating at first but he turned out to be a complete sweetheart. He was so nice and polite, it brought me to tears. He is québecois, but his English was great. I got him a sandwich and two water bottles at a restaurant near by. I interviewed him the 11th of December 2013. This is what he had to say


1. What’s your name & age?  Alec Guerin I have 40 year old


2. Were you raised in a religious house hold?  I don’t think my parents like religion much


3. How long have you been homeless?  I have been uh… homeless since I was 37year old. 


4. Do you have any siblings or close relatives? If so, what is your relationship with them like?
I have three brother, we have a good relationship. They are nice, they bring me food 
sometime.


5. What area do you prefer to stay in? And Why?  I stay in Mont Royal. There a lot of fun people. A lot of students and a lot of weed to buy. They are really nice and they leave very late. I don’t smoke anymore because Marie-Anne got me to stop. I like being close to them though. It make me feel happy like when I was young too.


6. What is the general response you get from people regarding your appearance?  I don’t care to know. Im too old to be uh… insecure, you know. People think what they think. 


7. Are you religious? I never learned about religion. I know that Jesus exist but I don’t know anything


8. How did you become homeless?  I got renvoyé.. I didnt have money or friends so i lost my house. My wife, Marie-Anne died a while after we lose the house, she suicided. I was alone and was sad.  My brothers like me but not enough to let me stay with them. They kick me out too. And I had to live on the street.


9. Do you visit any programs to help the homeless? If so do they help?  I get to sleep at the Maison Tangente a couple of time but they are very busy in winter. If you are not priorité, they don’t let you sleep there.



10. Do you have any plans for the future? I want to be happy again. I tired of feeling sad and I’m tired of missing her all the time (he cried a little) I want to live again like ever
yone else
I was literally crying when she told me her story. I interviewed her December 11th 2013.  I really.. wow. I don't think any introduction I could come up with would render it justice. I gave her a hot chocolate and a croissant at Tim Horton's, a lunch box with fruits and an old sleeping bag of mine. This is her story

 1. What’s your name & age My name is Cat Spence… spelled like a cat, not with a “k”. And Im turning 20 years old this February.


2. Were you raised in a religious house hold?  Daddy was a church man. He went to church every day, every day. Not my mother (laugh) My mother never gave a f*ck about anything with religion because of Daddy.


3. How long have you been homeless? (laugh) I hate that! (she kept laughing for a while) It’s easy to just call a bunch of people a certain name, huh? Has anyone ever called you a n*gger? Yes. I bet you hate it don’t you? Yeah, I do. It’s the same thing… They just like everyone to be perfect and to look perfect. If you aint got a house (laugh) If you aint got a house well you’re put in to our category of people. And what category would that be? The f*ckers! (laugh) You gotta admit, it aint easy for us. If you don’t got a dick, you aint blond with blue eyes and don’t got a nice house in the suburbs, you’re one of us! They put us here, girlie. They? Them! (pointing to the people that were walking around us) I’ve been here my whole life. None of them ever stopped to talk to me. Only once and it was the police to arrest me cause I was in an alley for more than 20 minutes or some sh*t. Do you know what they call that? No, what? They call that the law my dear (laugh) they call that the law!


4. Do you have any siblings or close relatives? If I do I’ve never met ‘em (laugh)


5. What area do you prefer to stay in? You gotta be smart with that you know. If I stay out, I can get robbed, raped, beaten up? F*ck no. I’ve had too much of that for one life, thank you! You stay in the metro, you stay inside. I got caught 2 times but the TSM don’t do sh*t about it! Haha, do you mean the STM? (laugh) yeah that one too (laugh)


6. What is the general response you get from people regarding your appearance?  No one pays attention to my appearance! They know I’m gonna look like trash, why bother giving a second look? Let me tell you something. I’ve lived here all my life. And there aint anyone that had the balls to look at my face. You know why? No, why? They like it better when they think I’m trash.  Look, have you ever seen a stray dog? Yes. You can’t look it in the eye can ya? Tell me you’ve already been able to look a stray dog in the eyes and be able to walk home like nothing. You can’t. So you don’t look at it.


7. Are you religious?  I don’t understand. Do you believe in God? No I understand that (laugh) I don’t get it much, you know. People are always so busy planning what’s they think is gonna happen to them after they die? That’s plain dumb. Worry about how f*cking sh*t life is now, then talk to me about your plans for maybe what might happen after. Well said.


8. How did you become homeless?  I aint got that good of a story, sweets. My mother didn’t want me. She gave me to my Daddy. I visited her sometimes but… I aint like her much, you know. Daddy took me in but he was always at church working. I was never important. Daddy had a lot of stress and had pulled me out of school when I was still a little girl. (she started crying) He used me to relieve his stress. He said I looked like my mother (she started to weep. It took her a while to get back. I told her she didn’t have to continue and I understood but she told me she absolutely wanted to) I left and took all his money. It’s the least he could give me right? I’m not a thief. I never took anything from nobody in my whole life except from Daddy. I don’t want him to know about it, so I gave you a fake name, is that okay? Of course it is, Cat. (pause) I didn’t know what to do with the money. I spent it on my ink (she showed me her sleeves and the pieces on her legs and told me about their symbolism)


9. Do you visit any programs to help the homeless? If so do they help? Yeah. The Maison Tangeante is a cool place. It’s the only one I know. (I gave her the name and address of other places)


10. Do you have any plans for the future? I don’t know. I guess I wanna get out of this. I wanna forget everything that got me here and just… I don’t know.


Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Woman found dead in tent under Pontchartrain Expressway overpass after freezing night

http://uptownmessenger.com/2014/01/woman-found-dead-under-pontchartrain-expressway-overpass/


Not mine

This is my favorite person. His name is Sky. He's trans-male. I've known him since he was a girl. He is an incredible person. He's nice patient, perserverant and very loving. I interviewed him the 15th of November 2013. After the interview I took him to the movies and then we went grocery shopping and I got him a sweater. He's been diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic coupled manic depression. This is his story 

1. What’s your name & age? Sky Angali kaur 17 years old


2. Were you raised in a religious house hold? (laugh) ohhh yes. Oh my god yes 


3. How long have you been homeless? Uhhh .. sh*t like… almost 2 years now



4. Do you have any siblings or close relatives? If so, what is your relationship with them like?
I have 5 sisters. None who talk to me though



5. What area do you prefer to stay in? And Why? I like westmount and NDG. No one bothers me and I don’t have to speak a lot of French. Im not good at French. (laugh) I hate that shit


6. What is the general response you get from people regarding your appearance?  
People think theyre better than me. They right. They are. When I look like this… everyones better than me



7. Are you religious? No 



8. How did you become homeless? When I was 13 I told my parents that I think I might be trans. they kicked me out before I can finish my sentence. I dropped out of school. I tried to get a job but like no one will hire you if youre like me… I gave up. I got really sad. I tried to suicide myself 18 times. Obviously im still here so I failed. 




9. Do you visit any programs to help the homeless? If so do they help?  I don’t want help. No one wants to really help me Sky, can I at least give you the names and addresses of some programs? They can help, I promise. Nothing can help. I don’t have anything. I don’t have any idea what my life is. It’s nothing, I don’t want no one to help 




10. Do you have any plans for the future? My plan is to stop talking then sleep here and then wake up, and sit over there (pointing)  for a minute and sleep down there (pointing) 


I interviewed this girl the 15th of November 2013. She's actually a friend of a friend. I could tell by the way she spoke that she was very enthusiastic to tell me her story. I think she always wanted to talk about her life but never got the opportunity to do so. I gave her sandwich, coffee, two water bottles and and a big crew neck. She attended high school until sec 3.  Here's her voice 

*Warning she was really graphic with some of her answers and told me a couple stories that i'll most likely upload later


1. What’s your name & age? Ana Wesley, 18


2. Were you raised in a religious house hold?  I don’t know. My mom was always strict, I think that maybe yeah.. she might was mean because of God. I never talked then.


3. How long have you been homeless?  Ive been on and off the streets since I was 10 but ive been living here ever since I was 15


4. Do you have any siblings or close relatives? I have two half brothers and a baby sister. I think her name is maria I never met her


5. What area do you prefer to stay in? I stay away from downtown. Im at terminus’ Angrignon, Cote vertu,  any places like that. Downtown is dangerous. Im not big enough to defend myself. They’ll come at you at night.. they wont stop. Here, you blink an eye, BAM youre raped, youre killed youre hurt. And cops don’t do shit about fuck. Ive been to the police office 4 times, if you homeless, they don’t care


6. What is the general response you get from people regarding your appearance?  No one looks at me in the first place. Im ugly, im fat, im dirty, im stupid. No one ever looks down to me. Im on the ground all the time begging, they never look..


7. Are you religious?  I don’t understand. Do you believe in God? I stopped. I use to but aint no God going to hold your hand when youre being raped, you know.


8. How did you become homeless?  I was coming back from school one day and these boys... they were following me. I turned around to talk to them since they were in my class and then one spit in my face. They took turns beating me up. They were big big kids, you know. And I couldn’t.. I couldn’t do anything. I just took it.  I had got pregnant. And I couldn't keep.. I didn't know what to do. My mom got me pills for the day after or some sh*t like that I don’t know.. but she said as long as I was doing this kind out shit she didn't have space in her house for me.


9. Do you visit any programs to help the homeless? If so do they help? They gave me food but they don't let you stay anyless you have priority. They don’t f*cking care about anything… what like how f*cked up do I have to be to get in, you feel? Its f*cked up.


10. Do you have any plans for the future? No



Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Hey (: 

Thank you everyone who's read my blog, it truly means more than I can express. I personally find the interviews so interesting and I'm contemplating interviewing more homeless people in the future. I'm just writing this to clarify certain things. First of all, no, the blog is not complete. I have several interviews to upload as well as more information on homelessness itself. Secondly, I do believe that it would be intriguing to post photos of the people I've interviewed. However, 11 out of the 14 people I've spoken to refused due to confidentiality. I completely understand their decisions and absolutely refused to pressure them into it. I'm very grateful to them for answering my questions, therefor I wasn't going to pry them any further. And finally, I really appreciate how open-minded and tolerant everyone is. Nevertheless, I've been receiving a lot of pity for my past. I find it somewhat unsettling that people would pity me for the things I've lived through rather than pay attention to the actual cause. My personal situation has improved drastically therefor, sympathy and pity is not all that necessary (it is appreciated though). In short, thank you so so much, I'll be uploading 2 interviews a day. They are pretty interesting and worth reading
Yep, I'm uploading two interviews in one night. The answers I got never cease to amaze me. This man was slightly older than the rest. I interviewed him the 20th of December 2013. I made a lunchbox that I gave to him. It had a thermos of soup, an apple, a water bottle and a couple of cigarettes. He was a little more conservative with his answers and didn't talk much. But here's his story

1. What’s your name & age? Patrice-Alain François, 30 years old, or something like that

2. Were you raised in a religious house hold? Yes, my parents were catholic

3. How long have you been homeless? 8, 9 months. I don't really keep count.

4. Do you have any siblings or close relatives? I have one brother, Pierre-Olivier and one sister, Patricia. We aren't close. I mean, Pierre-Olivier came here once or twice to visit. He works at Mcgill so its close

5. What area do you prefer to stay in? Close from the bell center.

6. What is the general response you get from people regarding your appearance? People try to avoid eye contact with me. I don't look at them either.

7. Are you religious? I think so

8. How did you become homeless? When I came to Canada my family didn't have much money. As a kid I had this crazy idea to steal from people to get some more money. But it went too far and I got involved in bigger crimes, my parents didn't want me at home anymore so I ended up in the streets.


9. Do you visit any programs to help the homeless? If so do they help? That socialist shit? No. I was born alone, I will suffer alone and I will die alone. No one should take care of me like I'm a puppy. I did this to myself, no one should go out of their way for me

10. Do you have any plans for the future? Yes, I want to become a better person. I want to live the full consequences of my acts and maybe help people in the same situation.
So I went out and interviewed a homeless man December 15th 2013. He lives in an alley close to the AMC theater near Atwater Metro. He was very open to answering questions and his face lit up when I offered him an orange and a hot chocolate for his honesty and his help. He is a French Canadian therefor his English was not the best, however, I was nonetheless shocked at his bilinguality. This is what he had to say

1. What’s your name & age? Julien Gauthier, 23 years old
2. Were you raised in a religious house hold? No. My parents were "athees" 
3. How long have you been homeless? I've been on the streets 2 and a half months but homeless, (pause) i guess 3 years.. Tabarnaque... Its, uh, its been a while hasn't it? Jesus.. 

4. Do you have any siblings or close relatives? If so, what is your relationship with them like? I have one sister: Agnès but I don't uh.. I don't talk to.. We don't talk anymore. You know... Its hard to uh... maintenir these kind of relationship... When you look like me (laugh) Its uh... its hard to hold on to the people that mattered... and very very rare for someone to accept you.. you know?

5. What area do you prefer to stay in? And Why? around Atwater Metro. Its the least crowded.. A lot of cops but its worth it, you know? Its worth it to not be bothered by others like me.. They're not good to be around, you know? Once you lose everything.... There's no hope.. you know? Cause there's nothing to hold on to. These guys, some are crazy, you know? You have to learn to stay away from them.. The police is no so bad. They just yell at you, These guys? They'd spit on you, feel you up, beat you just to get your spot. 

6. What is the general response you get from people regarding your appearance?  Curious, shy stares. No one talks to you. No one cares. I could be dead in front of them, they wouldn't do nothing.. I'm like a piece of garbage. No one looks at me. And if they do, they think i'm nasty.(pause) I used to beg, that was how I made money, but No one gives. Now I don't. It's not worth the money if the guy giving is too afraid to touch your hand and won't look you in the eye, you know? (pause) Its hard..


7. Are you religious? No. Jmen criss de la religion. I just don't care. I really don't care. And I don't.. I don't understand it (laugh)

8. How did you become homeless? I didn't finish secondaire. My dad he uh.. he didnt like me much you know. He prefer my sister. I dont like him either.. He use to smoke coke. All the time, you know, even when i was small small small. I saw him do it. My sister started to smoke cigarette and I wanted too. When my dad was gone or sleeping i'd smoke a little. And a little more and more.. I smoked his whole stash one night (laugh) He was so mad, his face was purple! He kicked me out after that. I had a job at Mcdo but they exige that you have an address.. They uh.. kicked me out after they found out i was uh living in the bathroom (laugh) I had to quit coke.. I didn't have the money.. It was hard.. I uh went to the YMCA and they gave me names of places i could sleep there so I wouldn't be on the street. (laugh) I was too pretty! They thought I would get raped! (laugh) 

9. Do you visit any programs to help the homeless? If so do they help? Not anymore. They only like you if you are homeless enough for them to fix you. If you are too homeless and smell bad they won't let you in. They used to love me but now, I don't bother go back. I'm not pretty enough now (laugh)

10. Do you have any plans for the future? Yes, I want to survive. That's the important. If i get to tomorrow, thats all I want. I don't care about the rest. People might give you bullshit about taking their life back and being like them again. No.. I tell you the truth. After being here this long.. I won't get off. I just want tomorrow.